Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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