The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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