Having a random hookup so left but love u
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
