Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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