Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
