i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
