I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
