I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
