So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
