the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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