I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
