Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
