sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
two words...techno handjob
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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