Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
