Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
