We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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