I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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