If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
