this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
