So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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