Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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