if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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