Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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