nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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