i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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