New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
