how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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