he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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