i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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