I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
