Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I faked an abortion last night.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
