he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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