Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I did not marry a roomba.
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