i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
