who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
