Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
