i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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