dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
