I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
