They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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