When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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