I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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