I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
