How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
