They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
