whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
