Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize