But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
