every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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