OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I need to calm my uterus...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
