That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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