There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
