hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
