Ambien. No doubt about it.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
