Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
