Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
