Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
