Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
