i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
