Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
