Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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